Sometimes the Pain is Unbearable

Lately I've been finding myself at a loss for words. I find myself stuck in my own head. All these people around me pregnant and having healthy babys. I miss Isabelle so much. Lately she's been in my head all day everyday. I keep thinking about how she would be about 4 and 1/2 months old and how I would be so happy. All I think about though is this emptyness I feel within me that never goes away. There is a hole in my heart that will never go away. Just making it through the day without crying has been very difficult for me lately. Everywhere I turn something is thrown in my face. I just recently found out that my sister in law and her husband are trying for a baby and it just hurt so bad. I'm happy for them I guess but I don't know what to do with myself. I find myself depressed because I know that we can't have another baby right now because we can't afford to. It also makes me depressed because it makes me feel like our daughter is going to be forgotten in the excitement of the new baby. It feels like everyone expects me to just be over losing my daughter and not feel sad when I see baby's or pregnant women. I can find no comfort in the things people say to comfort me like "you are young you will have more children." This does nothing for me. Just because I may be able to have kids later does not take away the pain I am feeling now and you also don't know that I can have other children. How do I know that this won't happen again? No one can be sure that this wont happen again. I know a few people that this has happened to more than once. It's unfair. Lately I feel like God is just testing me to see how strong I am and I must say I am beginning to crack under the pressure. Please pray for me as I am going through a very difficult time emotionally and just wish that some of the pain would subside.